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There is much debate of late as to who is the patent holder on the term Marriage . Conservative heterosexual monogamists have put their moral stake in the ground claiming that ‘Marriage’ is their intellectual property. The proponents of a traditional definition can be subdivided into the religious, who claim divine rights to the word, and traditionalists that appeal to the naturalistic fallacy that the definition is as it ought to be, proven and tested by time.

First, let us set things straight. What is the traditional definition of marriage? The short answer is: one woman, one man, for life. Yet, is this the definition that both proponents of the traditional definition truly espouse?

Those religiously minded who claim a divine definition for marriage point you conveniently to the Bible. Yet, weren t many of the biblical greats polygamists?! Clearly some historical modification of this divine lexicon has occurred.

The traditionalists have also modified matrimonial definitions over time. As recently as 1997, Ireland legalized divorce, reducing the certainty of the for life part of the definition. Throughout most of recorded history, divorce was simply, not an option yet it seems that societal needs have forced us to alter that definition.

So what the proponents of a traditional definition of marriage present as an immutable and timeless definition, turns out, upon closer inspection to be a shifting definition which is a product of the defining times.

Having knocked the moral ascendancy of the conservatives down a peg, we move on to possible solutions to this problem. Most people believe in homosexual marriage-style rights, leaving the word used to describe this solution as the only sticking point to be debated. They turn to homosexuals and say: what s in a name? Wouldn t a marriage by any other name be as sweet? They give them the rights but just wish that they d stay out of their lexical backyard.

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Same sex marriage proponents contend this would be tantamount to the tenets different but equal and point back to the inequalities such thinking created in civil rights history. While they have a point on this issue, I believe that the semantic battle for the word marriage is a bid to gain popular acceptance and I believe that their opponents see it as such. I would like to see advocates for the broadened definitions of marriage speak to why homosexuality should be accepted in general. In dealing with the issues at the core of the debate they have the best chances of evoking understanding, hence change.

The main points at the core of the debate as to whether to accept homosexuality are: 1) is it natural 2) is it evil and 3) is it a choice or endemic? We ll examine each point in turn.

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First what is natural? There are two aspects to natural, first the examples taken from nature around us and next the notion that the way things are, even in the human (not natural) world are the ‘natural’ way they should be. Looking to nature we see some examples of heterosexual monogamy in say, the Bald Eagle. However, more often we see examples of harems (polygamy) and loose monogamy (infidelity, or pair bonding for only a few mating seasons). While the traditional definition of marriage does exist in the animal kingdom, it is a minority player amongst many other definitions of bonding. Further, in nature we see examples of homosexuality amongst, say, male mice who often make female sexual displays in high population densities. Thus to say that heterosexual monogamy is nature’s way is tunnel sighted and uninformed.

Next we look to the idea that homosexual marriage is not natural since the heterosexual definition has been the prevailing one across the centuries. This is a classic example of the naturalistic fallacy which says that the way things are, is the way things ought to be. If we subscribe to the belief that the way things are is the way things they ought to be then we are forced to conclude that the world we currently live in cannot, and/or should not, be improved upon or changed in any way. Imagine if we all had subscribed to this belief, as many did, when it came time to review our ways in the face of slavery. Imagine again telling many suffering couples that they were stuck together for life because the definition of marriage was the way it was meant to be. Yet today we tell homosexuals that marriage is as it ought to be and if you want your rights, well then fine, but go do it on another page of the dictionary please. If we want the rights of deep, fulfilling, long term relationships to be extended to all humanity, heterosexuals must not drink the stupefying elixir of a natural definition of marriage, because no such definition exists.

Is homosexuality evil? Well first, what is evil. To the religiously minded, they say evil is what God says is evil as given in the book of absolute truth. I ve found that people who believe in absolute truths usually do so only because they are absolutely wrong. I admit that I have little respect or patience for those who derive their definitions of evil from a book and thus outsource their thinking. I dismiss them quickly for the same reason I scrape cold peas of my dinner plate, because they are cold and uninteresting. For those who are prepared to think about what good and evil really are, we come to the notion of utility. Good things serve a purpose and bad things do harm. This categorization is relative to a certain frame of consideration.

The packages your dog delivers on the neighbourhood park are not good for you to eat, yet are gourmet meals to the community of flies. Thus the truth to the statement: doggy packages make good eating is relative to whom is speaking. In a thinking world, to show that homosexuality is evil, we must demonstrate that it is evil in one of two frames. We must prove harm to either homosexual individuals or to society as a whole.

To homosexual individuals, the main harm done to them by being homosexual is the lack of acceptance they receive. Many heterosexuals quickly point to the often ’sad’ lives some homosexuals end up living. However, to borrow from the poet Andrew Lang, they do this “… like a drunk leans on a lightpost, for support instead of illumination”. The truth is that heterosexual intolerance of homosexuality is the cause of the ’sadness’ they observe. Still, as acceptance slowly increases, we see many more homosexuals today live productive and successful lives. They do not necessarily live reproductive lives, but either do all heterosexuals.

To our society at large, homosexuality may have a reproductive impact, but on a planet of 6 billion, is this really an issue? If we really would like to have a discussion about harm, let s talk about the harm of subverting this evil impulse to be homosexual, only to have men live in a traditional marriage unhappily, hurting both himself, and his wife and perhaps children. Thus aside from the heterosexual discomfort it causes, there is no harm caused by homosexuality and hence it is not evil.

Finally, is homosexuality a choice? Why ask the question? We ask because if it is a choice, we can ask them to make a different choice. Well, homosexuality is a choice but only in the same way heterosexuality is a choice. Heterosexuals could choose to be homosexual if they really wanted to. What we refer to in common speak as a choice actually has two components, first a pressure and second a pure choice. When faced with an oncoming freight train, we have a tremendous survival pressure to move. Still we have a pure choice as to whether to move or not. Most of us would move. In the case of our sexuality there are pressures given to us by our environment, genetics and evolution and in the case of heterosexuals there are no other pressures which would cause us to use our pure choice to override this strong evolutionary pressure. In the case of homosexuals, societal pressures can cause individuals to use their pure choice to over-rule their evolutionary pressures. The fact that the natural pressure can be overruled does not suggest or imply that it should because most such individuals live lives with the constant stress of juggling conflicting priorities and are never truly at peace.

In order to determine the existance and severity of this pressure to be homosexual, being unable to jump into the minds of others, we need to empirically observe the effects. The empirical proof comes from asking: Why would any person willingly join a historically persecuted group if the pressure wasn’t strong to do so? Throughout history homosexuals have been shunned and forced to lead marginalized lives. This fact is common knowledge, thus it is impossible to state that homosexuals became or become homosexual on a flight of fancy.

So are heterosexual monogamists the patent holders on marriage after all? Why do homosexuals want the word so badly, even if they ve already got the equivalent rights? Homosexuals want the word for the same reason that heterosexuals want the word, because of its meaning. It represents a deep, long-term, and socially recognized relationship between two people. Heterosexual monogamists claim to be the patent holders on marriage because tradition, the bible and nature have provided immutable and clear definitions of marriage that conveniently agree with them. None of that is true.

About the Author

Martin Winer is a heterosexual author interested in social issues.

He is a computer scientist by day running a website at: www.rankyouragent.com and a social scientist by night.

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Freshmen, Learn How to Hook Your Professors!

 by: Linda Correli

To commence something new is difficult from one side, but very exciting and interesting from the other. You never know what to wait and get ready for, though the feeling of unexpectedness makes new undertakings unusually thrilling and fabulous.

By starting your freshman year at college you are turning over a new leaf in your life, opening a door to the world with a spate of opportunities. The feeling of agitation, anticipation and joy you experience on the threshold of college education are incomparable and unforgettable sensations, which retain with you for a long time and usually turn into vivid recollections. After all, student life is one of the most notable and impetuous periods in people s life.

How will your freshman year look like?

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Always remember that your first year of studying at college is a challenge you have to confront and respond to it with dignity, as all the decisions and actions you will make will have a great impact on the rest of your college education. Don t expect anyone to stand back, remember that a law of jungle rules here, so that you have to survive and find ways how to thrive in your studying.

Your freshman year will be a hard nut to crack, because you will have to adapt to the new surroundings, to get familiar with a new place to live in, to find a rapport with your roommates, to work hard on your studying. Nevertheless the biggest challenge you will have to encounter is to win a position of prestige. It means that you will have to make a good showing before your tutors.

What does it mean to hook your professor?

It can seem a trifling thing, which you actually don t want to treat seriously. Though, I don t recommend you to neglect it, because producing a good impression on your tutor and winning of the favorable attitude are not peanuts. Literally it means to hook your professors by establishing a rapport with them.

I don t summon you to become a favorite student of your professors by all possible means. Quite the opposite. I intend to reveal you the ways how to find an appropriate appeal to your tutors and enlist their support and understanding. After all, it can prove useful to you when you run into some snags.

Bear in mind, that many professors you have your freshman year will give you lectures and conduct seminars in your group again and it will help you a lot if they recognize you as a good student.

How can you find those pegs which will hook your professors? What is this code with rigorous rules and principles which every freshman has to be consistent with to hook his professors?

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A secret code which guarantees you a favor of your professors

Rule 1.1 Attend lectures regularly and try to occupy the places in the first rows. It is a great strategy to stick in memory of your professors and pass face control at the exams. According to the monitoring of Andy Tucker, a professor of Durham University, students, who attended less than 30% of lectures invariably failed their exams and dropped out. At the same time, ALL of the students who gained a first in their final degree classification had attendance rates of 90% or more. And a student who attends 85% of lectures is statistically going to gain marks that are 10% higher than somebody who attends only 50% of lectures.

Rule 1.2 Be all ears during the lectures. Show your professor that you are genuinely interested in his subject and that his lecture is the only thing that matters for you now. Your intellectual curiosity and thirst for knowledge should be evident to your professors.

Rule 1.3 Always follow the thread of your professor s thoughts in the course of the lecture and ask to the point questions. Though, never interrupt your lecturer even with the wittiest and most appropriate questions, because it provokes dissatisfaction of your tutor. Moreover, that he loses the train of his thoughts, he remembers you as an upstart rather than a forward student.

Rule 1.4 Be active during the seminars. Give your original views and perspectives on the problem, come out with interesting suggestions, show your thorough work with primary sources, feature and analyze the positions of scholars. In a word, a seminar is a great chance for you to show your competence in different fields.

Rule 1.5 Be versed in your course requirements and due dates. Your professors should understand that you are organized and responsible person, who can be always relied on. Take advantage of office hours professors schedule for the purpose of meeting with their students. Turn to your professors with all academic issues and ask for help when you need it.

Rule 1.6 Deliver all your written assignments before the deadline and always be prepared for your classes. Show an example of persistence and diligence.

Oh yes! Be positive that your efficient insight would go beyond this point. If you go on reading further, we guarantee that your enthusiasm in this would be reinforced.

Rule 1.7 Be involved, join Athletics, UIL, Clubs or Student Government. Take initiation and it will be paid off generously by helping you build up your reputation. Remember that involved student is a successful student.

About The Author Linda Correli is a staff writer of http://www.Customresearchpapers.us She helps students write college research papers, term books, admission essays, book report and many other types of writing assignments: from personal statements to professional case studies. Article sponsored by http://www.go2essay.com.

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Many years ago, God led me through scripture to show me that Jesus healed all who came to Him, no exceptions … and that healing is still available for us, today … God doesn’t change … according to your faith be it unto you. Even in Paul’s case, grace always has a point of redemption.

My mother was in excruciating pain with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Thus, for years, I sought, searched, warred, and even spiritually crawled through battle after battle, when I could no longer stand … as I wanted to learn how to heal! When I could no longer crawl, I begged God to hold on to me, to not let me fall. It would have been easy to have given up had there not been a greater love than for myself.

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Only, through that, what God taught me was inner healing … the zillions of ways that cleaning the inside of the cup would cause the outside to take care of itself. As a result, my insides were clean!!! And, that is what I share with whomever will receive.

However, the stress, hurt, and loss of everything I’d ever loved or placed any faith in, other than God, (often emotional abuse in the name of religion, from those who hate whatever they don’t understand) finally caused an inner explosion of sorts, a breakdown, and I developed an anxiety disorder that left me without the ability to even remember who I’d just sent an e-mail to. All short term memory was gone. I could barely stand when holding on to something, making walking through a room by myself next to impossible.

None-the-less, I was determined that Satan would not stop me from serving God and I began spending 18 hours a day sitting and (mostly) sleeping at the computer. Then, when I’d finally give up and lay down, the sofa was only a few, hunched over, steps away. The good news is that I got to help hundreds in building their web sites, encourage many to work together instead of against each other, and several individual ministries were developed. God can always turn what Satan is doing into something good!

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However, for the next 6 months, I used a cheat sheet of sorts ~ just to get out the daily e-mails ~ sending apologies for the repeats. The next few years, of not moving from the computer, wreaked other havoc on my body. Since doctors offered no solutions except more drugs, I began seeing a Chiropractor ~ as when the body is in correct alignment, it can gradually heal itself. The process of making a come back had been at a snail’s pace ever since. But, every little bit counts.

Though, not even the Chiropractor could correct it all. So, when I learned of an area church that believes in healing, I became excited ~ finally, someone who believes God, too! Thus, I requested them to pray over me. Of all the things I’ve ever heard about phony faith healers, none of it was true.

After the church service, not a show of any sorts; it was semi-private when they prayed. All they did was touch whatever part of the body they were praying for. And, they knew to pray for things I hadn’t even requested … like lymph nodes! All I know about that is, when this seems to be the year for cancer in our family, my tests came back negative.

In addition, instantly, my shoulders went into right alignment, something that hadn’t happened since the sixth grade! And, the curvature in my back was gone!

Their faith is based on the fact that all forms of sickness and poor health have demonic properties, that you don’t even have to be sick to die, that God never makes anyone sick, that sickness does not come from God.

Also, they said I could expect to be sore the next day, as my bones were not use to being in right alignment and I would need to command my own body into place, whenever it would slip out of alignment again. Though, by this point, I did not want to do battle with Satan ever again ~ no more battles! No …….. !!! The battle belongs to the Lord. What God does is a done deal!

Only, my hip hasn’t been so cooperative and it was another area not even the Chiropractor could budge. So, I’d wait until I’d had enough of limping and the pain it caused, then ask someone to pray over it again and again.

I know that it is God doing the healing and I’ve witnessed Him using others to accomplish this purpose. Also, I am not a bit afraid of demons. We know each other quite well. But, what I had begun to doubt was that I would be able to do this type of healing, too (God, through me, of course).

Comments would be made like, “You don’t have to have the gift of healing to do this.” “When you learn how, you can do this for yourself.” Learn how? I had already been listening for God, asked a few questions, and finally have an answer to share.

Of all the types of healing there are, this one is the easiest and most pain free method of healing we can do for ourselves. Faith is the hardest thing to give, in complete surrender, but takes the least amount of effort in accomplishing … no battle at all! Yea! And, you can do it, too!

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Scoot your buttock to the back of a straight chair. Lift your legs slightly, then just gently hold them. Do you notice a slight vibration? Keep your legs lifted until the vibration stops. That vibration is God moving your hips into right alignment.

Now, stand up and reach toward heaven. Lift holy hands, stretch just a little, reach for God. Feel the vibration? Envision God taking impurities from your body (feeling them leave through your finger tips), putting your body into alignment where your blood will flow correctly, removing the Satanic forces that cause you to not be well, healing the inward parts. When the vibration stops, just Praise the Lord!

If you can’t lift your arms, but only your hands, turn them upward. If you can only move your toes, lift them upward. If you know how to put parts of your body into place on your own, go for it. Just know that wherever you are, and however many times a day you get the urge to do so, until Satanic forces get the message, just do it. God wants to heal you!

Then, as we start believing God is who He says He is, He’ll show us more! And, just to think ~ what all we might accomplish if our spiritual body were in right alignment, too! I want to receive some praise reports!

And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom,
and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people. Matthew 4:23

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also;
and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. John 14:12

2003 by Joyce C. Lock

About the Author

In addition to being a published author and poet, Joyce C. Lock created the religion column, “Christianity Made Simple” for Peru Daily Tribune, continues to write inspirational articles for area newspapers, and shares further in online and e-mail ministries.

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Top Ten Reasons To Start Creativity Coaching

 by: Lael Johnson

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DEVELOP YOUR ARTISTIC CONFIDENCE I’d really like to write but I don’t have enough time. Creativity coaching can give you back control over your calendar.

EXPAND YOUR HOBBY TO A PART-TIME BUSINESS: I can make crafts for others, but I’m too scared to sell them to strangers. Creativity coaching can teach you how to expand and meet your artistic expectations.

EXPLORE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Marketing my work to new markets is difficult. Creativity coaching can teach you how to research and develop new markets.

ACHIEVE YOUR ARTISTIC GOALS: I can set goals, but I can’t complete them. Creativity coaching can teach you how to formulate and complete your goals.

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EXPLORE ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR CREATIVITY: I don’t know if I am creative or not. Creativity coaching can help you discover the truth about your creativity.

BALANCE YOUR CREATIVITY AND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE: If I don’t write regularly, I begin to feel trapped. Creativity coaching can help you discover the truth about your creativity.

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DISCOVER PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS AND OTHER NETWORKING OUTLETS: Where do I find artist in my artistic discipline? Creativity coaching can help you increase your business skills.

CREATE CONCRETE PLANS FOR YOUR ARTISTIC BUSINESS: How do I write a business plan, when my art isn’t even selling? Creativity coaching can help you increase your business skills.

FIND AN ARTISTIC MENTOR OR BUDDY: Where can I find an artistic mentor or buddy? Creativity coaching can help you expand your support network.

Copyright 2005 Writer’s Eye Advisory Service

About The Author Lael Johnson, owner of Writer’s Eye Advisory Service, offers creativity coaching services and additional writing resources at: www.writerseye.com/creativitycoaching/index.shtml.

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When you have an impossible manager, quit? Sometimes that s impossible. If you find yourself in this situation, here are eleven things you should consider.

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1.Company culture
2.Everything else is excellent
3.Your outlook
4.Are you in the loop?
5.Age and career potential of the manager
6.Support, life skills
7.Change departments or jobs

1.COMPANY CULTURE

This may be the single most important thing. I ve visited many offices and each one had its own distinct culture. All companies have the same policies and procedures handbook, basically, because it has to do with legal, but it s the unwritten rules that dictate.

I can recall some where hostility seemed to be the policy. You could cut the tension with a knife. This will make the company ultimately dysfunctional, but that won t mitigate the potential damage to your health if you remain. Don t think This place is really sick but I ll be fine. It doesn t work that way.

If you haven t worked in a lot of different places, or are new to your career, you may not be aware of how distinct this particular culture is or how ingrained it is. Like attracts like, and the people who hire will continue hiring people like themselves, so it will get worse, not better. Therefore there s little hope you ll get a better manager when this one leaves.

Understand that you aren t going to be changing it all by yourself. Your choices are to leave, or to get support and build your lifeskills to deal with the situation. However, understand it s going to prevail, and will impact your life negatively. Consider carefully what you re getting out of it that could possibly make up for that.

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2.EVERYTHING ELSE IS EXCELLENT

I ve only heard this comment from someone relatively new to a job. You can count on the fact that after a certain point of time, the negatives will outweigh the positives, but here s the way to handle that.

I love my job, my client Dominica told me. It has the sort of challenge and variety I love. I ve never had such latitude. It s a place where I can gain the skills I need to move to the next level. I get to speak to civic groups a couple of times every week, and there s even live TV and radio. Where else could I get this? The only thing wrong is Harry and his nit-picking, micro-managing. He s the only thing that holds me back. She went on to glow about the working conditions, good equipment, and benefits.

If it s a position that will move your career path forward and you re acquiring excellent skills, what should you do? Consider it a temporary position, get the skills you need, see point 6, and be looking all the time for your next career move. Chances are you will get enough good out of the situation to balance the negatives.

Do not get lulled into staying there. A bad manager will ultimately cause more harm than good.

3.YOUR OUTLOOK

Your attitude, optimism and mindfulness are crucial. You must be clear about what s going on. You must be able to see what the manager is feeding into the equation so you can keep it separate.

It s possible to last out a bad situation temporarily if you are equipped to deal with it mentally and emotionally. If you re truly stuck in a bad situation for a while, use your emotional intelligence. (More on this later.) Keep your own thoughts positive. Resist all urges to become cynical and pessimistic. This is not as easy as it sounds, and don t underestimate it. Consider the job temporary and stick to that policy. Rarely have I talked to someone who really must stay where they are. It s only their perception of things.

Be willing to consider the gains and losses. Often someone staying in a bad situation is considering the money. Eventually you will discover what your health mental and physical are worth.

If there s something there that s meaningful to you it will help.

I m thinking of a client I ll call Linda. She was forced to move to another country and take an inferior job when her husband received a promotion and transfer they couldn t pass up. After coaching she said to me, I understand now if I let this be the excuse for not achieving, that will become a pattern. She quit feeling sorry for herself and started working with what was possible.

4.ARE YOU IN THE LOOP?

One thing that can make a bad manager tolerable is if there is a loop of the other persuasion and you re in it. A client I ll call Maria-Marthe found herself in such a situation. There was a core group working for an incompetent and disparaging manager.
They could give each other consensual validation about what was going on. There is strength in numbers.

In this case, while you won t change some things about the manager, your group can bring pressure to bear that will make what the manager has in mind more difficult to achieve. If you do this, you can expect the manager to become more difficult, as he or she perceives something s going on he or she isn t in control of, but your daily work life may be better.

5.THE AGE & CAREER POTENTIAL OF THE MANAGER

Most of us looking to get ahead will consider this first thing. Who s ahead of me that might be blocking the way? In this case you want to know how long this person will likely be there.

If the manager is young and new, they may not last. Actually these days anyone new may not last, regardless of age.

If they have some experience under their belt and seem interested in promoting themselves, they ll probably be moving on and up.

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If they are middle-aged, have been there a while, and are dug in like a tick, consider that they will endure and you will not.

If you use your gut instincts, you can tell who is on-the-move, and who has moved in to stay. You can also tell how important this particular manager is to those above him or her. If they are liked by superiors, and a confrontation should occur, they ll be staying and you ll be leaving.

Paying attention to things like this will make a difference in your career.

6.SUPPORT & LIFE SKILLS

Whatever your job, whatever your manager, you need support and you need to develop your emotional intelligence. Any difficult or challenging situation is more tolerable if you have resilience, creativity, interpersonal skills, and a support network.

Hiring a coach at this time can move you light years ahead. Using a coach, an outside expert advisor, will help you interpret the situation realistically. If you work with a certified emotional intelligence coach, you will also acquire a set of competencies with beneficial long-term results. This will not be the last difficult situation you face in your career.

7.CHANGE DEPARTMENTS OR JOBS

If the problem goes with you, it s you and you need to get some coaching!

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA, Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I teach individuals emotional intelligence through individual and group coaching, workshops, Internet courses and ebooks http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htm. ). A total program for personal and professional development. mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify emotional intelligence coaches. Email me for information.

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